Endometriosis and infertility often show up together, but they aren’t the same journey; they’re two overlapping, complex experiences that each require their own kind of advocacy and support. In this episode, host Kelsey sat down with April Christina, a wellness advocate diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and later with infertility, and Connie Stark, a certified reproductive medicine infertility nurse and fertility coach with Fertility Out Loud, to talk about what it actually takes to get heard, get diagnosed, and keep moving forward.

What Endometriosis Actually Is

Connie offered a clear clinical definition: endometriosis occurs when tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside the uterus, which can cause inflammation, pain, and for some, difficulty conceiving. It can affect the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and surrounding organs including the bowel and bladder, and commonly presents as irregular cycles, painful periods, and painful intercourse. But as both guests emphasized, the clinical definition barely scratches the surface of what living with it actually involves.

April’s Story: An 8-to-10-Year Average, Lived in Real Time

April began her period at age 9 and spent nearly two decades navigating heavy bleeding, nausea, vomiting, leg pain, and breakthrough bleeding, much of which was initially treated as a normal part of a young menstrual cycle, especially since other women in her family had also started their periods early. It wasn’t until her late 20s, after years of proactive appointments with her family, that she received a stage 4 endometriosis diagnosis, ultimately through a chance conversation with a patient of hers who happened to be an OB/GYN. That conversation led her to pursue an exploratory laparoscopy, the definitive diagnostic procedure for endometriosis, which confirmed what years of symptoms had pointed toward all along.

Why Advocacy Is a Skill, Not Just a Mindset

Both guests offered concrete, actionable advice for anyone trying to get properly diagnosed or supported:

• Document everything. Write down what your physician says at each appointment, and treat that record as a tool for comparing opinions and tracking your own journey.
• Bring a support person. April described how overwhelmed she became during a pivotal appointment, to the point of being unable to read her own written notes; having her mother there to advocate on her behalf in that moment made a meaningful difference.
• Trust your gut, and don’t wait. If a provider dismisses your symptoms or you don’t feel confident in a recommended plan, it’s reasonable to seek a second or third opinion rather than defaulting to “we’ll deal with it later.”
• Understand that support doesn’t always mean treatment. As Connie put it, support can also mean validation, clarity, and community — distinct from a clinical intervention, but no less important.

The Mental Health Layer

Connie shared that an estimated 39-40% of people are already dealing with anxiety, sadness, or depression by the time they begin a fertility journey, often shaped by years of pain that went unaddressed or dismissed before infertility was ever part of the conversation. April spoke candidly about eventually seeking therapy once she recognized her emotional highs and lows were affecting her more than her physical pain, and about later finding both a nurse coach and, eventually, Connie specifically, as sources of support that helped her process the emotional weight of both endometriosis and infertility simultaneously.

“It can be this and that.” — the idea that two seemingly conflicting emotions can both be true at once, without needing to resolve the tension between them.

One idea from their coaching relationship stood out: the concept above became a genuinely practical coping tool for April — one Kelsey noted applies well beyond fertility specifically.

On Not Doing “All the Things”

A recurring theme in the conversation was the risk of overcorrecting: trying to implement every recommendation from every source at once, rather than finding what’s actually right for your individual body and circumstances. Connie shared an example of a client who was doing yoga three times a week specifically because she’d been told it would help her get pregnant, despite the practice itself causing her stress; once she gave herself permission to stop and find a different form of movement instead, she felt noticeably better. The larger point: personalized, sustainable care tends to outperform trying to do everything at once.

April’s Advice: “Your Pace, Your Race”

Asked for a final piece of advice, April offered a phrase she said she’s still learning to live by: your pace, your race. She spoke to the danger of comparing your journey to others’ results on social media, and described the importance of staying present and investing in herself outside of the “baby, baby, baby” mindset, including rediscovering hobbies like painting and martial arts during a break between IVF cycles, as a genuine part of the journey rather than a distraction from it.